How to Keep the Spark Alive in Your Relationship
My husband and I have been together for about 6.5 years now and married almost 5 years. We fell in love, dated for 2 years got married and that was that. We had our babygirl Katherine 1 year later and our Olivia, last year. With 2 kids and 2 very busy work schedules; it’s becoming more and more challenging spending quality time together. I am now managing 3 businesses, staying active as an “influencer”, working out and still managing to be almost a full time mommy. Is it tiring? Hell yes. Would I have it any other way, nope! Because I LOVE everything I do. But what does get away from us sometimes, is our actual time spent together. David’s been working very long hours, coming home very late, while trying to maintain a healthy life and stay active with the gym himself.
The challenge is not only the long hours of work; but our almost 1 year old waking up several times throughout the night and has gotten into the habit of sleeping in our bed. This was partly our fault because we didn’t want to wake up every few hours and go to her room, so we would just put her next to us. So basically, we haven’t slept for months! She’s teething and some days are better than others. Patience... woosah!
I tell you all this because most of this is not obvious on social media and I also want you to visualize what our life is like, so if you think you’re too tired or too busy, you’re not alone.
In general, my husband is a romantic. He says nice things, compliments me all the time, talks sweet to me and respects me. I am not as romantic as him, but throughout the years, I guess you can say I’ve learned from him. I feel blessed to have such a loving and patient relationship. However, when all of the above is happening - we’re having a hard time paying attention to each other. Do we argue? Of course. Are we too tired at times to talk to each other at the end of the night? Yup.
Now, to this blog post: how do we keep the spark alive in our relationship?
For starters, it’s how you set the tone of the day. We always wake up with a Good Morning & a cup of coffee together.
We try to go on “date nights” at least once a week and dress up for it - just like our dating days! (I used to hear of this when we were dating and I thought it was ridiculous; it’s a thing!)
At the end of the night, when the kids are finally asleep (hopefully by 10pm!), we’ll open a bottle of wine and chat for hours or watch a movie together.
We try to take as many day trips together as we can, even with the kids. Keeping the spark alive isn’t about getting rid of your kids it’s about spending it together to fuel that love.
I still write him cards for every relevant holiday to remind him of how I feel. Something about hand written notes is still so much more special than a text.
Vacationing! Even if it’s a staycation somewhere - taking a break from our busy lives and not having to worry about rushing off anywhere for work...liberating!
Lighting candles and playing music. It builds a nice ambiance inside the house and keeps you in good mood.
Cooking together. I always get asked if I’m tired of cooking and the answer is no because most of the time, we’re cooking together - this is our bonding time.
Don’t forget to compliment each other! And if he is not the type to do so, I promise if you make the effort to, it will be reciprocated.
Be a positive influencer in each other’s life! It’s ok to stress, complain and let it all out; but please do not take it out on each other. This is the hardest one but making the tiniest effort of positive support - this too has a lot to do with your relationship.
I can see how easily the spark can runaway from couples who have busy lives, those who have been together a long time or have kids! I recently read somewhere that in order to keep the spark alive in a relationship, you have to work at it every day and it is so true! You don’t need to cook together every day but small efforts each day will keep the spark alive.
What are some of your tips and advise on keeping the spark in a relationship alive?